Desert Dessert
Summary by Channie Koplowitz Stein
L'iluy nishmat haRav Meir Yaakov ben Aharon v'Fruma Zlotowitz – R"Ch 1 Tamuz (30 Sivan) 5777
One of the ten recorded Biblical songs, the Song of the Well, is found in Parshat Chukas. In addition to describing the well itself, where it came from and where it goes, the well and its song are also a metaphor for Torah, as water and Torah are both necessary for our survival. The well was mimidbar matanah/a gift from the wilderness that then continued to nachaliel/the valley, and from the valleys to the heights and from the heights to the valleys.
While the well was indeed a gift from the desert, and the valleys and heights refer to geographical and topographical areas, our Sages find tremendous wisdom and life lessons in the words the Torah chooses to describe these places. Rabbi Munk elucidates the explanation of Gemarrah on these names. If one makes himself into a midbar/desert, one will merit the matanah/gift of Torah. Then he becomes Nachaliel/an heir to Hashem. He rises higher, but if he becomes too proud, he will again descend to the valley.
This explanation raises as many questions as it answers. What does it mean to make yourself a desert? What does it mean that Torah is a gift?
Before we begin our discussion, we must understand that a midbar/wilderness is by definition hefker/ownerless. Now we can understand Rabbi Schrage Grosbard's z”l writing that you must share your Torah freely with others. Teaching Torah must not be just a job to earn a paycheck, but a total commitment to the welfare of one's students and of others. Rabbi Grosbard z”l cites the verse from Kings I that states that Yoav ben Tzeruyah was buried in his house in the midbar. Who was Yoav ben Tzeruyah? Besides being a very successful and trusted general to King David, he was also so knowledgeable of Torah that he was the head of the Sanhedrin. Yet, he was completely devoted to the people. When he won a battle, he would donate his spoils of war to the needs of the community or to support the poor. His home was open to all, he considered his wealth hefker. Therefore the Prophet writes that his home was like the hefker of the wilderness.
Only someone who is so dedicated to others that he has nullified his own ego and all that belongs to him can be a perfect receptacle for the Torah and for the kedushah/sanctity that derives from it. As the verse in Vayikra commands:Venikdashti betoch Bnei Yisroel/That I may be sanctified in [through] Bnei Yisroel. Sanctification always implies some separation. Rabbi Grosbard z”l explains that the separation one must work on in order to be able to sanctify God's name is separation from self and from ego. By searching for ways to serve and help others rather than trying to boost his own image or build his personal financial empire one will come to sanctify God's name.
Torah indeed should be made available to all. If you hear a wonderful dvar Torah, writes Rav Scheinerman in Ohel Moshe, share it freely with others. It is by seeing to it that others can avail themselves of Torah that one raises himself and reaches great heights. This was indeed the merit of Yehoshua bin Nun, continues Rabbi Scheinerman. While he undoubtedly felt joy at being a dedicated disciple of Moshe Rabbenu, he did not appropriate that Torah to himself alone. Our Sages tell us that he busied himself with arranging the benches (or carpets) to make it comfortable for others as well to come and learn Torah in the tent. Hashem gave Yehoshua the gift of Torah leadership as his just desserts for involving himself with the needs of others.
Hashem gives you gifts and rewards depending on what you goal is, continues Rabbi Scheinerman. If you want to learn so you can teach others, Hashem will help you learn more easily so you can share with others. If your desire is to help others financially, to give tzedakah, Hashem will provide you with the means to fulfill this goal.
Torah will only come to someone who is willing to self sacrifice to achieve it, to kill his ego for Torah's sake. That is how Rabbi Frand quotes the Mepharshim that interpret the verse, "This is the Torah/teaching of a man who would die in a tent" (Bamidbar 21:14) The Torah can only be preserved by a man who is willing to "kill himself" for it. If you want to be successful in Torah, you must negate your ego entirely.
Rabbi Shmulevitz z”l notes the three preparations Bnei Yisroel made before receiving the Torah. They did teshuvah, they achieved unity, and, tying these two together, they camped in the desert. To become a vessel for Torah one must lower oneself and be willing to listen to others. The Gemarrah Taanis instructs us "to be soft like a reed and not strong like a cedar." In other words, one should be able to be flexible like a reed, listen to others and admit that the other may be right. [In the times of the Gemarrah and by Sephardim today, the reed (rather than a feather) is used to make the quill for writing a Sefer Torah, although the reed is still used for scratching the lines and margins onto the parchment, symbolizing the flexibility one needs to acquire Torah successfully.]
We reinforce this idea daily at the end of the Shemoneh Esreh prayer, writes Rabbi Egbi in Chochmat Hamatzpun. We pray that Hashem "guard my tongue from evil... to those who curse me let my soul be silent and let my soul be like dust to everyone." Only in that state of self - nullification can we then continue, "Open my heart to Your Torah..." One must empty oneself of "I" to create space for Torat Hashem to enter.
Negating the self is not easy. Human nature from the creation of Adam himself wants to assert its independence. But negating one's desire for the trappings or honor of this world does not destroy independence and willpower. On the contrary, writes Rabbi Tatz in Worldmask, using one's free will to make His will your will is the greatest exercise of one's free will and makes one part of a greater existence. Moshe, the humblest of all men, was also the greatest of all men.
The human brain is not capable of comprehending the depths of the Divine Torah without Divine assistance writes Rabbi Chaim Friedlander z”l, the Sifsei Chaim. The more we seek honor and wealth, the more we become slaves in their pursuit, the less independent we are. Therefore, when we remove haughtiness from our psyches, we make room for Hashem to help us in our studies. Torah can be found anywhere, and we must be willing to learn from anyone. Like water, Torah flows down from high places to fill every empty space and crevice beneath it.
Since the Torah is a spiritual entity, Man must negate and symbolically kill his physical aspect to receive the gift of Torah. Torah exists within each of us, writes Rav Dovid Hofstedter, but we find it difficult to access because our physicality prevents the spiritual Torah from coming down. The midbar mindset removes these layers of physicality and the light within can shine forth as we access the gift of Torah.
The Netivot Shalom reveals a truth that should be obvious. When one is in the midbar/desert, one yearns for water. One should thirst for Torah and learning just as strongly. If one does not yet yearn to study Torah, one should at least have the desire to desire it, for complacency is the enemy. This same holds true for the enjoyment of Shabbos. While we are meant to enjoy the spiritual tranquility of Shabbos, there are those who cannot yet appreciate it. But if they at least desire to have a true Shabbos experience, Hashem will give him the gift of Shabbos. If we can arouse our desire for the Torah and its way of life from below, from here on earth, Hashem will fill that desire from above.
We find an interesting anomaly in the Shemonah Esreh prayer, notes Rabbi Pincus z”l in Tiferes Shimshon. Most of the blessing in which we request Hashem's help begin directly with the request: "Return us. to Your Torah..." "Forgive us..." "Cure us..." and so on. Only one request seems to have an introduction before we make the request: "You graciously endow man with wisdom and teach insight to a frail mortal." Only then do we ask Hashem to "endow us from Yourself with wisdom, insight and discernment." We realize that Torah is a gift directly from Hashem, so we request that You give us that gift. Shavuot is called zman matan Torateinu/the Time of the Giving of the Torah, not the time of receiving the Torah because Bnei Yisroel, unlike the other nations, wanted it immediately and responded with, "We will do," even before hearing what was in it. We knew Torah was a precious gift and resolved to use it appropriately.
The level of one's desire will determine how much he accomplishes in Torah, writes Rabbi Weissblum in Heorat Derech. Our avodah, the work we are required to do, is to nurture that desire that will help us overcome all obstacles. The desire will give us the impetus to persevere.
The Torah describes the vision of Hashem at Sinai as a consuming fire. Rabbi Bernstein, citing the Ktav V'Hakabala, explains the metaphor of fire in an interesting manner. A fire can immediately consume something as thin as paper and then disappear. Fire has a more lasting effect on dense matter such as wood. Similarly, those who did minimal spiritual preparation for their encounter with Hashem at Sinai had a lesser experience than those who prepared themselves more intensely.
We have to prepare ourselves to receive the Torah and its wisdom constantly. We prepare ourselves by desiring to have the ability to learn that which is in reality beyond our capability. Then, writes Rabbi Friefeld z”l, we have to take that desire and translate it into heartfelt prayer. When we've reached a level of success, we must not rest on our laurels, but beseech Hashem to grant us more wisdom, to learn more from the wonderful Torah He has gifted us with so that we can rise ever higher and create more godliness in this world.
Hashem has given us this wonderful gift of Torah. He has also planted within us many emotions and free will. We must use our capacity to choose to desire more than just a physical life, to free our souls to lead a spiritual life with the minimal constraints of our physicality. By separating ourselves from what our egos' influences, we can transcend ourselves and access Hashem's help to achieve great spiritual heights and wisdom through Torah.
[I feel this shiur is appropriately dedicated to the elevation of the soul of Rabbi Meir Zlotowitz, founder of ArtScroll Mesorah Publications, who with much dedication and love of Torah, Bnei Yisroel, and people in general has made Torah so accessible to so many people who would otherwise live in a wilderness where Torah did not grow. His levaya/funeral was today, Rosh Chodesh, in Brooklyn. He will be buried tomorrow, Monday, in Beit Shemesh, Israel. May his work continue to positively impact Torah study and Jewish life throughout the Jewish world.]